The Daring Apache Escape

I have a close friend who, as a child, pulled off a daring escape from adult captors via the confusion she caused by speaking to them in Apache.

(Not my friend. This is the fierce, 1800s, Apache warrior/prophet, Lozen. But, there ARE similarities. :))

Ok, let me just say this up front - the rest of that story may not live up to the cool attention grabber. LOL. But, it is the first chapter of a fun story that spans 30+ years.

Hopefully that whets your appetite enough to read further.

My friend, who for anonymity purposes I’ll call ‘Liz’, was born into a Jewish, atheist home - which just serves to prove something that the apostle Paul wrote a couple of thousand years ago. Specifically this:

“For since the creation of the world God’s invisible qualities—his eternal power and divine nature—have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that people are without excuse.”

Paul is elsewhere quoted by Luke, the doctor-turned-historian, as saying, “Rather, he (aka God) himself gives everyone life and breath and everything else. From one man he made all the nations, that they should inhabit the whole earth; and he marked out their appointed times in history and the boundaries of their lands. God did this so that they would seek him and perhaps reach out for him and find him, though he is not far from any one of us.”

I can think of no better illustration of these truths than Liz.

Despite the discouragement of her parents, she somehow concluded as a young girl that what was missing from her life was God. She also purposed that she was going to ‘find Him’, whether anyone was willing to help her or not.

That is some pretty heady stuff for an elementary school aged girl to conclude with such conviction.

But, what did that verse above say? That God’s power and his nature can be clearly seen by us all just by looking at what has been made. Liz saw it.

So began her “search for God” which, for a girl her age with no assistance, translated into riding her bike on Sunday mornings to whatever church services were within reach.

As all gamers know, embarking on an open-ended quest with no map or guidance often leads to unforeseen dangers for even the bravest adventurer. And, Liz had never even heard of ‘Pentecostals’, much less had any familiarity with their ways.

So, one Sunday morning after pedaling to visit a new church, she listened intently to their pastor as he described the beautiful experience of following a loving God and being guided by His spirit - which was available to all who sincerely sought Him. When the pastor closed his message by inviting any ready to receive this blessing, she bravely chose to walk forward.

She had no idea what was coming.

To her surprise and great alarm, she suddenly found herself surrounded by a group of women who proceeded to place their hands on her, and pray loudly intermingling English with what sounded to Liz like gibberish - all the while coaching her to ask God for a miraculous ‘tongue’ of her own.

Having zero cultural context for what was happening, Liz was understandably terrified and, although she wanted to run, was being held so firmly by those praying/chanting/coaching that she could not escape.

Most little girls would have dissolved into tears. Not Liz.

It was in this terrifying moment that her Apache training came to her rescue.

To be clear, Liz was not even a little bit Apache. But, she was a Girl Scout, and part of her scout training had been to learn a bit of the Apache language. In a moment of panic-born brilliance, she began speaking every Apache word and sentence that she could recall.

It worked.

The moment she began speaking in her not-remotely-miraculous tongue, her captors felt the need to praise God for the ‘miracle’ that wasn’t. This praising, of course, meant that the hands previously holding Liz were now lifted in the air. Suddenly free and still fully freaked out, Liz bolted from the front pew past her captors, the pastor, and down the aisle past everyone else in attendance that morning - she ran like her life depended on it out of that sanctuary to her trusty bareback pony, er, bike.

The experience was traumatic and resulted in that particular flavor of religion being permanently placed in her rear-view mirror - something to pedal away from.

I wish I could report that I have not witnessed similar, traumatic interactions over the years. I cannot. Over the years I have witnessed some “doozies” that resulted in others running in the opposite direction from churches. (In fairness, most have been the result of bad judgment exercised by well-meaning people but, that said, it is hard not to relate more to those running than those they run from.)

What fascinates me about Liz’s story is less the story and more her response.

Unlike most adults I have met over the years, she did not conclude, as the result of her encounter with some misguided religious people, that God was unworthy of her pursuit.

Somehow, this elementary school girl was able to look past the trauma visited upon her by people and continue to focus on pursuing God.

She was 100% right - God is not defined by those who follow him.

I am reminded of the story wherein Jesus scolded his followers for trying to keep children away from Him as he ministered. His words to them were, “Leave the children alone, and do not forbid them from coming to Me; for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.”

Sometimes kids see things so much more clearly than we adults.

Liz eventually found God despite all of the ‘noise’ she was forced to navigate along the way. That’s another thing Jesus promised: That those who pursue God and refuse to be distracted - including by the religious who often make the ‘finding’ harder - those people always find God.

Btw, the part of Liz’s story that began with the panicked blurting of Apache was not a once and done. Not by a long shot. That experience was just chapter one. And, her rear-view mirror conclusion that I mentioned above: To discount an entire group of God-followers? Well, stay tuned on that front because, as my Dad once told me, “Gerald, it’s a long road that has no turns.”

Liz had to wait another 30+ years for chapter two. But, you do not. Just keep reading. I’ll circle back with chapter two shortly.

:)